Monday, October 1, 2012

Free Fall for Broke Bitches Everywhere

It’s fall, and I know I’m not the only one who’s pumped. After months of sweating our mascara off and damning all offices mandating appropriate summer attire amidst glacial air conditioning, it’s finally time to wear sweaters without shame.

While most of the lovely ladies in my life are springing for new leather boots, bottles of Kraken rum just perfect for making hard apple cider, and outdoor pizzas by the fire pit at Roberta’s, I seem to be just as broke as ever. New York is in a frenzy of fall celebrations, from foodie feasts to hayrides in Queens to pie contests in all five boroughs, which would usually have my broke ass pouting, but I’m way too excited fo that.

What’s a broke Bitch to do when it comes to celebrate the best season of all?
Luckily, I’m returning from a SUMMER-LONG (good God, I’m the worst) hiatus to school your poor souls on how to make the most of this broke fall.

Here are some things that I’m really looking forward to doing to cheaply celebrate fall’s arrival:

1.     Wear tights. Always, all the time, forever. It’s been too long.
2.     Sleep with the windows open with a ton of extra blankets piled on the bed.
3.     Switch to hot coffee instead of iced.
4.     Convince a friend to knit a cute hat fo’ free.
5.     Resume Thursday Night gallery hopping, as per usual. The city’s too empty in the summer to really get alarmingly drunk on cheap red wine and talk perspective and color theory with absolute strangers along the West Side Highway.
6.     Jump in piles of carefully-raked Carroll Gardens
7.     Drink some two buck chuck on a fire escape. Feel chilly. Grab a blanket. Resume drinking.
8.     Splurge on a pumpkin whoopee pie from your favorite neighborhood bakery. All the things you love about seasonal baked goods: cinnamony, pumpkiny, cream cheesy….
9.     Check out the “Art in Odd Places” exhibition staged all over NYC, from October 5 to October 15.
10. Put together your fall playlist. Mine’s two parts Tallest Man on Earth, one part Yo La Tengo, one part the Shins, and seven parts Neil Young.
11. Take the long walk to the subway when you leave work this week. It’ll be darker out, you’ll most likely smell that amazing combination of burning leaves/dirt/mulch coupled with apple cider, and you’ll probably spot an adorably bundled marshmallow of a toddler out for a pre-bedtime walk with mom and dad.
12. Figure out when the next Harvest Moon is out and make it a point to see it.
13. Resume your annual favorite scary movie marathon that becomes mandatory once we hit October (I’m starting with Rosemary’s Baby tonight!).
14. Pick up a bag of fun-size treat-or-treat candy bars from CVS and surprise your office. That’s cost-effective magic right there.
15. Pull out the plaid you retired last February. It’s that time again.

What are you looking forward to the most when it comes to fall? This Bitch is looking to bulk up her favorite ways to celebrate the changing of the seasons.


Totally Bitchin’ Throwback: Weekend Wish List

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